Hey Dad

What happens if you dont do your AB excercises?

2005-10-25T07:59:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad ..... I haven't heard from you in a few days. Has all this talk of health and fitness scared you away? You too could like this if you don't excercise your abs.

Ab Crunchers of the World Unite!

2005-10-21T08:12:00.000+10:00

Hey Readers ..... My father has lost access to his belly button. I tell you it's gone.

He needs the salad servers to clean his naval lint.

His stomach is beginning to resemble the grinch.

I have tried to encourage him to find his abs but he refuses all help. His recent post diverted the issue to Viagra and Safari Suits. I say "Bin the Viagra, Burn the Safari Suits (especially the blue one), sit on the fit ball and crunch those abs". This is a call to all those Ab Crunchers out there. Leave a post in the Comment box to encourage my Dad to get in shape.

Viagra or Safari

2005-10-20T15:34:00.000+10:00

Hey Son,

I went out today and purchased myself a copy of that Mens Health Magazine. Not that I need it and you can ask your mother, but the article on Viagra was a real eye opener. I assume everything is OK in that department between you and your vegan friend. The other article that caught my attention was the new summer fashion. It looks like the Safari suit is making a come back and I can't wait to get back into mine (especially the light blue one).

Jelly Belly

2005-10-20T07:09:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad ..... Too many extreme makeover shows. That's what you've been up to. I think its time to turn off the television and reinvent that jelly belly of yours. We have been referred to a book called The ABS Diet which is attached to the Mens Health magazine. I have signed you up for the free newsletter.

Wouldn't you like to see your ABS before your 50???

Tryhard Son

2005-10-19T11:52:00.000+10:00

Dear Tryhard Son,

Please don't waste your time with this body building mumbo jumbo. I have been surfing the net and implants are the way to go. I have heard of a new proceedure where they can actually insert pecs, suck and shift fat and even lift those areas that gravity has taken a hold of. Actually, I've been thing of having some work done myself. What do you think?

Fab Abs!

2005-10-18T07:57:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad ...... there was a little too much information in your last post. I am still trying to shake the word pictures from my mind. I won't dwell on it. I will move on.

Fab ABS! Did you ever have them? How do I get them? Pilates, yoga, power aerobics, kick boxing, diet and situps. Will any of these help? Perhaps I will have more success with my little vegan, Melissa, if I have a six-pack. Can you help you son?

BollyJoy

2005-10-17T09:16:00.000+10:00

My Dear Boy,

All I can say is that the Starlight Ballroom has lost me forever. I knew I was destined for greater things and thanks to Sanjay Sargoo and his god, mum and I have experienced the ultimate in Bolly Joy. Yes, my son your mum and I are converting to Buddhism and yes we are engaging in Tantric sex. I hope this isn't too much information for you but let me tell you that my loins are on fire and thanks for the tip on loose fitting clothes.
I will be out later today buying candles, incense and one of those pot bellied smiley men to sit at our front door.
I must go now as I search for inner peace.

Dad's Bollywood Dancing Experience

2005-10-16T07:26:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad ..... It's time. Our regular readers will know that we went Bollywood dancing at "The Curry Den" last night. In fact, we have had a couple of e-mails requesting you to post the highlights and lowlights of the experience. I particularly liked the bit with the turban. Sanjay Sargoo was a good teacher wasn't he? Don't hold back now .....

King George and the Great White Telephone

2005-10-14T07:57:00.000+10:00

Oh Mio Papa!

After yesterday I think I will become a prohibition pushing suffragette, go "on the wagon", become a tea totaller. Here’s the thing. It was school break up yesterday and a few friends and I decided to start the day with a champagne breakfast. Being under age and champagneless I snaffled a flagon of your home made wine. You know the one with "King George" printed on the label. I shared it around but unfortunately Darren had one or two tipples too many. It wasn’t long before he was waving the empty flagon around singing "King George is Dead Ho Hum, King George is Dead". About half an hour later he had disappeared and a search revealed him collapsed under the picnic table. We shoveled him into the back of a friends car and took him home where I spent the day helping him talk to God on the Great White Telephone. You will be pleased to know that I have sworn off alcohol but am considering a career harnessing your wine recipe and marketing it to NASA as rocket fuel. I am sure it will get them to Mars. Sorry I didn’t correspond yesterday but I had my hands full. (Photo courtesy of Carlosluis).

Bang Bang

2005-10-13T16:03:00.000+10:00

My Dear Boy,

I didn't hear from you today and your mother and I were wandering if all is OK. We didn't upset you with regards to the Curry Den Invite, did we? We had another look at the menu and I reckon that at my age Mughlai Boti could be lethal or even worse, give me a nasty case of shity shity bang bang!

No Vindaloo for me

2005-10-12T15:02:00.000+10:00

Dear Son,

I feel that the whole Curry Den thing is a big mistake. You know I'm a simple man and quite frankly don't like putting anything in my mouth that I can't pronounce. I think you should change the venue to something to somewhere with a bit of class and fine cuisine; say Smorgys or even La Pancetta.

The Curry Den - Email from Josh

2005-10-12T08:15:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad ….. we have had an e-mail from Josh. He has been to The Curry Den and has some meal recommendations. As you take so long in choosing your dish I thought I would pass his advice on.

Bengali egg plant with mustard seeds –Please use a toothpick to clear away the seeds.
Mughlai Boti Kebab Chicken With Almonds – Don’t eat the skewer.
Onion And Tomato Raita – Lots of green chilies in this one.
Lamb Vindaloo – Vindaloo does nicely very very spicy.
Pork Curry – A curry frenzy in a pot.
Aloo Curry – More mustard and coriander.
Josh says that he can’t wait to hear about your Bollywood Dancing experience next week.

Thank you for your support Josh. I need all the help I can get.

Concerned Father

2005-10-11T09:03:00.000+10:00

Is Melissa a hippi and were her parents at Woodstock?

Vegan!

2005-10-11T08:11:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad ...... I say this with the utmost respect but if I am the son of Chucky that makes you Chucky.

I have spoken to Melissa about your suggestion that we all go Bollywood Dancing next Saturday. She thinks its a great idea. Make a booking at "The Curry Den" on Saturday night and Melissa and I will go with you and Mum. There is one condition. You must post your experience for our readers' enjoyment next week.

By the way I should tell you Melissa is a member of the Vegan Village. Just so you know this means she doesn't eat or use non-human animal products including the body parts of an animal, or any substance derived from an animal, such as gelatin, eggs, honey and dairy products. I need you to keep an open mind. Go with me on this.

Not Impressed

2005-10-10T14:06:00.000+10:00

Dear Son,

It seems like your mother and I may have given birth to the son of Chucky. While I dissaprove of your envolvement with this Melissa I must say the idea of Bollywood dancing does seem quite appealing. Tell me, does Bollywood dancing involve giration because you know how much I love to girate. I've got a great idea why don't we all go?

Bollywood Dancing

2005-10-10T12:36:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad, I'm a little upset.

Melissa couldn't come last night. She said she had something else on. However, she is free for video's and takeaway next Saturday night. Do you think you could take Mum out somewhere? You don't like the video's we watch anyway and I don't think "Seed of Chucky" is quite Mum's cup of tea.

I know..... how about you go Bollywood dancing with Mum. There's this restaurant and after dinner they clear away the tables and teach the steps, the moves and the whole bit. Mum will be so impressed. Make sure you take a bottle of water, a towel and wear loose fitting clothes and you'll be right.

Dads Nostrils

2005-10-09T10:37:00.000+10:00

My dear son,

Surely by now even you would have realised that protruding hair nostrils add character while providing a human shield to any unwanted predators. Like your grandfather and great grandfather we have always been proud to show our spider legs and may I say your mother finds them quite attractive. Melissa will have to be brave and who knows she might have great taste like your mother!

Nose Hairs

2005-10-09T09:58:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad. You win - I won't push the python thing provided you promise me this. I am have invited Melissa over to dinner tonight and I want to impress. Please don't embarass me and that means please, please, jam the personal groomer up your nostrils and get rid of that nose hair......

Dad Says....

2005-10-08T21:37:00.000+10:00

No need to keep it in a tank, I have heard that the burmese pythons are quite friendly.....Perhaps we can get one for your mother.

Son says .....

2005-10-08T16:03:00.000+10:00

Hey Dad did you see that picture in the paper about the huge Burmese python that killed and swallowed an alligator in the swamps of Florida. Check it out. Apparently the python wasn't quite big enough because its stomach ruptured and park rangers found it dead with the alligator's tail protuding from it. The news said that Burmese pythons have thrived since pet owners released them in the swamp.

Hey Dad, I'm responsible. Can I have a Burmese Python for Christmas? I promise I'll keep it in a tank in my bedroom......

Welcome

2005-10-08T08:12:00.000+10:00

Thanks for loading our diablog. We have called it a "diablog" because it is sort of diary, dialogue and blog between my Dad and me. We plan to post a snippet of our daily conversations. We laugh a lot so hopefully some of them will be funny and others will be downright hilarious. On occasions they may be thought provoking but deep & meaningful messages are not our aim. We hope we entertain ourselves and perhaps you as well. Call back regularly and follow our conversations as they unfold.